Guilt Free for the Holidays

Do you leave Thanksgiving gatherings feeling bad about the way the day went?  Are you mentally kicking yourself as you travel home?  If so you might be suffering from an unhealthy case of holiday guilt.

Following are some ways to get rid of the guilt and enjoy the holidays more. 

1.Get into your subconscious mind. Figure out what is the cause of your guilt.  When it becomes conscious you can much more easily deal with it.
2. Don’t buy into it. In other words you don’t have to feel guilty, it is a choice. You can and do choose the thoughts you have on a daily basis.  Don’t let someone make you feel bad.
3.Increase self confidence. By feeling more confident you can avoid taking on unnecessary guilt. Remember all the things you do for others and let go of what you can’t control.
4. Practice forgiveness. If you can forgive others, you can also forgive yourself
5. Mentally prepare to be consciously positive. Notice if the conversation is headed to something negative and redirect it to something more positive.  I have found that you can redirect conversation fairly easily if you are prepared with some subjects that everyone can relate to and enjoy.
6. Feel grateful. This is what defines Thanksgiving and the holiday season. By practicing gratitude and being thankful we connect to all of our positive experiences and feel good in the process. I work with many people during the holiday’s who have negative feelings that decrease their enjoyment. By changing the way you think you change your perception and therefore your feelings.  By taking care of yourself you become more able to enjoy the holidays and make a positive impact on the lives of others at the same time.

Positive Change with Hypnosis

hypnosis and hypnotherapy are amazing techniques for self change. There is a glut of self help books and techniques for change, but none of them can beat the power of hypnosis. Perhaps the reason it is not used more is because of the negative myths and misconceptions promoted by Hollywood movies and stage shows.

The reality is that due to a lack of understanding, many people are missing out on a technique that they can control. hypnosis does not induce a lack of control, nor is it best utilized with individuals who are lacking in intellect or strength of mind. I can’t make someone do something they don’t want to do or that goes against their moral clock or values. Some of my best hypnotic subjects have been doctors, professional athletes and highly intelligent business executives, because they know what they want and are open to allow the change or changes that they desire to happen.

Hypnosis is a state of mind that everyone drifts into during the day. Hypnosis is a permissive state. There is nothing mysterious or occult about this incredible mental state. Highway hypnosis is one example. As you drive past your exit you may realize that you were driving while being in a zone or a trance-like state. Time elapsed much more quickly than expected and suddenly you are going by your exit. When you daydream, which hopefully everyone does, that is a form of self-hypnosis. I have had clients who have already been practicing self-hypnosis; they just weren’t aware of it nor were they able to tap into the power of their mind because they have no knowledge of how the mind works or how to use this remarkable state.

Sales people and athletes have already figured out the power of hypnosis. Not to use on others, but on themselves. Many athletes will talk about using hypnosis to perform better. Tiger Woods, Michael Jordon and John Smoltz are just a few of the athletes who have used hypnosis to improve a specific part of their game. People who want to lose weight or stop smoking are also becoming more aware of this power that is within them. Anyone who has a desire to change and a willingness to be hypnotized can experience this fantastic state and improve every aspect of their lives.

Move Past Fear and Become a Powerful Public Speaker

The fear of public speaking is the most common phobia. It has been said that people fear public speaking more then they fear death. Although that may sound extreme most people aren’t faced with death at the next sales meeting and so the speaking fear is more real and more immediate.

Many people make their fear worse by their behavior. If a person with performance Anxiety forces themselves to speak in an effort to move past their fear, what likely will happen is reinforcement of the negative feeling and the more it is reinforced the worse it will become.

Another way you might make this fear worse is by avoidance. This often starts in school, by selecting classes where there is no speaking required or choosing a career where speaking and presenting is not necessary. When you have a fear and you avoid the thing that triggers your fear, once again you are reinforcing the message to your mind that you can’t do presentations and so the fear becomes more imbedded. The best way to move past a fear or phobia of this type is to clear it out on a subconscious level where fears are stored.

When I work with clients who have this fear we start by clearing out old experiences that may retrigger the fear. By moving past the initial cause of the fear you begin to gain more control. The initial cause could be having a panic attack when giving a presentation in school, or perhaps a speech in college or simply introducing yourself in a meeting. Fear of public speaking is not a fear that you are born with since we are born with only two fears, fear of falling and fear of loud noises. Every other fear is taught or learned. Once the triggers are removed we can work on developing the skills and confidence to not only be able to speak, but to become an engaging and exciting speaker.

Entrepreneurs who Struggle with Guilt and Regret

People who sell a product or service risk a part of themselves every day. They risk self esteem, self confidence their perceived income. This comes at a price for many in sales. It can be empowering to be completely responsible for your level of income. However when things are not going well it can also be terrifying.

Sales people or entrepreneurs who under perform have some emotional consequences along with the obvious financial ones. The most debilitating emotions for many in sales are feelings of guilt and regret. Most of these negative feelings originate in under performing and feeling responsible for under performing. Since you are responsible for your income than of course if income is low you are responsible.

By performing up to your standards you will alleviate guilt and regret. So how do you accomplish that goal? Here are some simple steps that will help:

  1. Make sure your standards are realistic. People in the field of sales can tend to set very high goals. These goals are not unrealistic for some or in a specific time frame. But for you they might not be correct.
  2. Once you have a realistic goal, now determine what the obstacles are to completion.
  3. Write out a plan to move past the obstacles.
  4. Get feedback and determine what needs to change.
  5. Move forward and feel the positive feeling that accomplishing a goal gives you.
  6. Now move on to the next one.

The best way to alleviate feelings of guilt and regret is to accomplish what you set out to do. By taking control of your goals you gain control over negative emotions as well. Take back control and your negative emotions like guilt and regret will be a thing of the past.

 

 

Stress and the Body/Mind

The health of the body is directly linked to the mind. Mind body science is making major leaps in our understanding of the relationship of mind/body and the impact we can have on our physical health through our mind/body system.In a recently published study, researchers found that depression-related stress results in the significant shortening of telomeres–the caps at the ends of chromosomes–an indication of accelerated aging!The publication of this study stresses the importance of minimizing the impact of internal and environmental stress on the body. An estimated 75-90% of visits to primary care physicians are now related to the effects of stress, and this new study documents how lethal stress can be to our well-being and longevity.

Of course not all stress is bad.  The stress of exercise or learning a new sport are actually seen as positive stress which results in less inflammation and stress on the body. It is our perception of the stress that often times create the negative reality.

One of the best ways to create less stress in the body and mind is to take a mental vacation.  Whether through meditation or self-hypnosis, this mental break will allow your mind and body to deeply rest.

When I work with clients who are not dealing well with stress, I help them to get into hypnosis. Self hypnosis creates the same health benefits as meditation since it takes place in the same brain wave state. However, for those who have a difficult time learning or committing to meditation the process is easier. During the hypnosis process they learn more quickly and easily and will have post hypnotic suggestions which then help them to use the positive suggestions during their waking day. In this way they will not need to remember to stress less about work or the kids or money. Instead they will automatically feel more in control. When someone feels more in control of their life they have less negative impact from stress.

I know it works because I have seen thousands of people feel better, more in control and less stressed in my practice. Every day I see clients who are going through difficult times and are now better equipped to deal with a negative situation and more resilient in life.